I’m not a horsey person, nor particularly interested in the normative aristocratic ventures, but Ascot I find fascinating, especially when they wear more than just a fascinator (ho ho!). I could get all aptriotic and say gosh, doesn’t it make one proud of being from this good land when one sees British women’s endeavors for fashion – mad, bad, or however it may turn out in reality, but that would be to play up that old English habit of making a point of pride anything we do that is, in fact, hideous. Like queueing. But I digress; the trannies are certainly out in force this year at the races – from horses and swan looky likeys to fabulous gravity-defying head-concoctions to hats themed around that other Great Sporting Event, we have an array of ballsy men and women who aren’t afraid to show some flair. Joan Collin was out in full-shouldered, Dynasty days force and Amanda Holden was typically annoying in a mutton-dressed-as-lamb, not-Cheryl-Cole way. Oh, and there was even a horse spotted wearing a Phillip Treacy hat this year – oh no wait, that was HRH Princess Beatrice. I do beg your pardon.